Woman refuses to compliment husband for doing the bare minimum around the house, leading to a heated conversation about household duties: ‘You’re not even grateful‘

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Dec 31, 2024 7:00 PM EST

Living with someone, especially when that someone is your romantic partner, means separating household duties equally (unless both parties have expressed an alternative agreement). When you're sharing a roof with someone, it's important to keep the house clean and orderly, but equally important to communicate who will be doing what tasks throughout any given week. You don't need to make a whole spreadsheet like a lunatic, but dividing and conquering the day-to-day tasks is what keeps a partnership healthy and nurtured.

The woman in this story is taken aback when her husband basically begs her for a compliment after doing a mundane household chore. Her husband never thanked her for all of the work she does for the house on a daily basis and found that her husband's compliment-fishing is out of character and out of line. When women aren't thanked for the things they do, don't expect them to thank you for doing what is asked of any cohabitating situation. Scroll to read. 

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  • 01
    comment. "Well.... I unloaded the dishwasher and washed the frying pan in the sink!!!" So now I doubled down on my "confusion" and pettiness because for some reason it bothered me that he was fishing for a compliment for something that I do
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  • 02
    AITA for not complimenting my husband when he does chores around the house?
    via georgiapeach31
  • 03
    My husband & I (36m, 29f) both work full time, both contribute to groceries, both do chores around the house. There are certain things that we tend to do that would be considered exclusively
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  • 04
    my chore or his. But that's not to say one or the other couldn't do that thing. I usually start work later in the day, and finish way later. Where he starts
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  • 05
    very early, and is done earlier. So last night, I worked until 9pm and came home so exhausted that I just went straight to the couch and sat down. He was standing in the kitchen chatting with me, asking how my day was, etc.
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  • 06
    But then he goes, "do you notice anything?" And I kind of looked around and said "...no?" He says, "I cleaned the kitchen!". (Something that I do 9/10 times and that's okay, the
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    kitchen tends to be my time to relax as I genuinely love cooking/cleaning/having an organized kitchen) This is where I felt kind of bad, because I actually chuckled out loud and
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    said "oh well there wouldn't have been much to clean because I cleaned the kitchen this morning before I left for work!" And he kind of got put out by my comment.
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    "Well.... I unloaded the dishwasher and washed the frying pan in the sink!!!" So now I doubled down on my "confusion" and pettiness because for some reason it bothered
    via georgiapeach31
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    me that he was fishing for a compliment for something that I do daily and never get compliments on (nor do I seek or need them) and said, "oh, I also unloaded AND loaded the
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    dishwasher and washed all your breakfast dishes by hand this morning." To where he started stomping off and said "you could have just said you were proud of me."
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    And now I was grumpy because I felt the whole interaction felt childish. "Well are YOU proud of ME?!" To which he said "that's not the point, I just tried to do something nice for you and you're not even grateful."
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  • 13
    So, AITAH for refusing to just say thank you? ETA ::: I feel like I should make it clear, we DO tell eachother daily how much we appreciate eachother and the things we do. I thank him often
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    for the things he does. Like I said, I often work later than him - and even though cooking is my time to relax, sometimes I just do not feel like cooking and I will come home to a cooked meal. I
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    often praise him for these sorts of things because as many of you stated, these are things that are important. But the interaction we had last night was so
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    UNCHARACTERISTIC for him that I doubted my reaction and was genuinely wondering if I was out of line. And yes, I could have been less petty but I just felt it so
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    silly to NEED a compliment about something that was already 98% done that my reaction was one of almost "are you serious? and then he got defensive and it escalated.
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  • 18
    Anxious_Repor... . 3d ago. NTA. Why would you praise him for basic chores that you both have to do to maintain your living space? He didn't even clean the kitchen! He washed one frying pan!
    via Anxious_Reporter_601
  • 19
    LowBalance4404 · 3d ago NTA. He doesn't get a pat on the head for washing a frying pan that he clearly used. Every time you do a chore, ask him if he notices anything.
    via LowBalance4404
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    Cheezburger Image 10442976000
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