Woman refuses to compliment husband for doing the bare minimum around the house, leading to a heated conversation about household duties: ‘You’re not even grateful‘

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    comment. "Well.... I unloaded the dishwasher and washed the frying pan in the sink!!!" So now I doubled down on my "confusion" and pettiness because for some reason it bothered me that he was fishing for a compliment for something that I do
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    AITA for not complimenting my husband when he does chores around the house?
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    My husband & I (36m, 29f) both work full time, both contribute to groceries, both do chores around the house. There are certain things that we tend to do that would be considered exclusively
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    my chore or his. But that's not to say one or the other couldn't do that thing. I usually start work later in the day, and finish way later. Where he starts
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    very early, and is done earlier. So last night, I worked until 9pm and came home so exhausted that I just went straight to the couch and sat down. He was standing in the kitchen chatting with me, asking how my day was, etc.
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    But then he goes, "do you notice anything?" And I kind of looked around and said "...no?" He says, "I cleaned the kitchen!". (Something that I do 9/10 times and that's okay, the
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    kitchen tends to be my time to relax as I genuinely love cooking/cleaning/having an organized kitchen) This is where I felt kind of bad, because I actually chuckled out loud and
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    said "oh well there wouldn't have been much to clean because I cleaned the kitchen this morning before I left for work!" And he kind of got put out by my comment.
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    "Well.... I unloaded the dishwasher and washed the frying pan in the sink!!!" So now I doubled down on my "confusion" and pettiness because for some reason it bothered
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    me that he was fishing for a compliment for something that I do daily and never get compliments on (nor do I seek or need them) and said, "oh, I also unloaded AND loaded the
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    dishwasher and washed all your breakfast dishes by hand this morning." To where he started stomping off and said "you could have just said you were proud of me."
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    And now I was grumpy because I felt the whole interaction felt childish. "Well are YOU proud of ME?!" To which he said "that's not the point, I just tried to do something nice for you and you're not even grateful."
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    So, AITAH for refusing to just say thank you? ETA ::: I feel like I should make it clear, we DO tell eachother daily how much we appreciate eachother and the things we do. I thank him often
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    for the things he does. Like I said, I often work later than him - and even though cooking is my time to relax, sometimes I just do not feel like cooking and I will come home to a cooked meal. I
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    often praise him for these sorts of things because as many of you stated, these are things that are important. But the interaction we had last night was so
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    UNCHARACTERISTIC for him that I doubted my reaction and was genuinely wondering if I was out of line. And yes, I could have been less petty but I just felt it so
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    silly to NEED a compliment about something that was already 98% done that my reaction was one of almost "are you serious? and then he got defensive and it escalated.
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    Anxious_Repor... . 3d ago. NTA. Why would you praise him for basic chores that you both have to do to maintain your living space? He didn't even clean the kitchen! He washed one frying pan!
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    LowBalance4404 · 3d ago NTA. He doesn't get a pat on the head for washing a frying pan that he clearly used. Every time you do a chore, ask him if he notices anything.
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